


Always Rivals

by hutchabelle



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, College, Competition, Enemies, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, F4LLS, Fandom for Australia Fanworks Auction, Fandom4LLS, Fandom4LLS 2014, Friends to Enemies, High School, Making Out, Poverty, Prom, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:26:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27923755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hutchabelle/pseuds/hutchabelle
Summary: Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark always have been rivals. They're both smart, driven, and poor, and a scholarship to college is the only way to escape their small hometown. Katniss likes to keep her distance, but Peeta's interested in seeing if they can help each other through the rough patches. How long can Katniss resist his sweet, boyish charm?
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen & Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen/Gale Hawthorne, Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 84
Kudos: 133
Collections: Fandom For Australia





	1. High School

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bigbagofweird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bigbagofweird/gifts).



> I wrote this story for a charity anthology for Fandom For LLS (F4LLS) back in August 2014--just as I started a full-time professorship at my current job. I edited and submitted during my professional development week and intended to expand it into a five part story. I had an outline and everything, but life got in the way. So glad to finally be sharing the finished product that is in fulfillment for a charity auction for Fandom For Oz (FFOZ).
> 
> I'm saddened that one of my betas and one friend who helped me brainstorm the outline have both passed since I first wrote this. Here's the original author's note: Always Rivals is the first portion of a five part series. Many thanks to myusernamehere and jennagill for their beta skills and baronesskika and court81981 for brainstorming sessions regarding content and form.

Static echoed throughout Haymitch Abernathy’s classroom as the students struggled to finish their exams before the period ended. Katniss Everdeen finished her last answer and set down her pen to listen to the announcement that was sure to follow.

As Vice Principal Thread’s voice boomed through the halls of the school, Katniss’ eyes drifted to the front of the room where her blond and blue-eyed classmate sat. Peeta Mellark’s brow creased in concentration as he scrawled an answer in his deft script. Katniss knew from attending school with him since kindergarten that his handwriting was remarkably neat and almost artistic for a boy.

With a sigh of relief and a faint smile of satisfaction, Peeta scanned the exam sheets a final time and placed his pen neatly at the top of his desk. His sharp blue eyes met hers briefly as he glanced at the clock in the back of the classroom, and he offered her a sweet half-smile. Katniss rolled her eyes and looked away to fix her stare on the speaker above the chalkboard from which Thread’s voice continued to drone.

None of the announcements were important. She’d heard every one of them a million times during her tenure at Coriolanus Snow High School, but the Vice Principal seemed to gain an inordinate amount of satisfaction from hearing his own voice at the end of every school day. She couldn’t wait for the next three weeks to pass so she’d never have to hear his voice again.

But more than that, she looked forward to never seeing Peeta Mellark again if she could help it. He’d been her nemesis since the first day of school thirteen years prior, and she’d grown tired of living in his shadow.

It wasn’t so much that Peeta deserved her wrath or the significant amount of distaste she felt for him. In fact, he didn’t deserve it at all. He’d only ever been nice to her—kind, considerate, helpful, and a million other complimentary adjectives that infuriated her more than anything. Peeta was nice to a fault—smart, popular, compassionate, and worst of all, her biggest supporter despite her best efforts to shoo him away.

On the first day of kindergarten, he’d smiled shyly at her when they spied each other for the first time across the schoolyard, but Katniss was wary of people who looked like him. He practically sparkled in his clothes that reeked of newness. His wavy hair fell in a soft frame around his face, resembling a halo. Her own mother had the same coloring, but her clothing was drab and fit for a miner’s wife. Katniss’ attire reflected her family’s impoverished state as well, so she was cautious about allowing much contact between herself and those who were considered “better” than her.

The problem was that Peeta didn’t seem to understand those parameters. He didn’t view her any differently than he viewed himself, despite their obvious dissimilarity in socio-economic status. Whenever he'd had a chance to interact with her, he'd done so (albeit shyly), and his kindness had started to grate on her nerves.

When the class bully, Cato, pulled her skirt over her head and shoved her into a mud puddle in second grade, Peeta had helped her up and chastised her classmates for laughing at her before reporting Cato to the teacher.

Each year on her birthday, which fell near the end of the school year, he brought her something special from his dad’s bakery. The gesture rankled her, even though she knew it was unfair. He was simply being nice, but the other kids noticed and teased her about his obvious devotion to her. It didn’t seem to matter if she reciprocated or not. He became her unofficial champion and protector so subtly and intrinsically that no one teased her about anything _but_ him.

Her father was killed in a mine explosion the year she turned twelve, when she and her little sister Prim needed him the most. Her entire world changed then, with the exception of Peeta. He remained steadfast during the crisis, bringing her homework every day during the time her mother allowed her to stay home from school and mourn. With the homework, he brought with him a simple brand of compassion that eased her devastation just a little more each day. His presence at her father's funeral made her eyes water with as many tears as saying goodbye to her beloved dad did. Peeta was the only one of her classmates who bothered to make an appearance.

During middle school, she’d managed to bury some of her pride and be civil to him. They’d even maintained a friendly rivalry once it became clear that they both wanted to succeed as much as possible. Peeta was remarkably talented in art, and she in music, but the core classes were where they both shone as academic successes. By the time they reached high school, it was clear they’d be duking it out for valedictorian and salutatorian spots as well as the scholarships that went along with them. Both of them needed the monetary support if they were to attend college, but Katniss unquestionably needed it more.

Katniss shook herself out of her reverie at the sound of her name leaving Thread’s lips.

“Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, please report to the counselor’s office at this time. I repeat, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, please report to the counselor’s office at this time.”

Katniss cursed under her breath as Mr. Abernathy smirked, and a few of their classmates twittered with laughter. Peeta’s ears tinged pink, and his head hung low as he flexed his hands into nervous fists before turning in his seat and glancing at her with a raised eyebrow.

Someone released a quiet wolf whistle before their teacher grunted, “That’s enough. No talking during exams,” and the class returned to silence.

“Katniss, Peeta, turn in your tests if you’re both done and get going.”

Katniss sighed heavily and pushed herself away from her desk, stalking past Peeta to Mr. Abernathy’s desk. Peeta stood aside politely, and his gentlemanly gesture caused her to roll her eyes again.

He’d been just that chivalrous the previous spring when he’d sweet-talked her into being his date to their junior prom, and that had ended in an unmitigated disaster.

Again, it wasn’t really his fault. During their junior year, Peeta and she had settled into an easy camaraderie. Their schedules were mostly the same, and their GPAs were so similar that it seemed silly not to help each other out. Her grades had improved to almost perfect with his help, and his had as well. They drilled each other for the ACT and SAT until they both scored as high as could be expected.

Katniss grew so comfortable with him that she let down her guard, and that’s when he’d made his move.

During their last study session for the ACT, Peeta cleared his throat shyly and closed his book. She knew he had something to say, so she waited patiently. Peeta didn’t respond well to pushiness, so she sat quietly in expectation.

After thirty seconds of painful silence, Peeta stammered, “Uh… Katniss… so, I, uh…” He stopped to gulp down his panic and started again. “Well, I thought maybe… if you aren’t going with anyone else… uh… well, maybe—do you think you might want to go to prom together?”

Katniss had sat in stunned silence for several minutes and studied him. He kept his eyes cast downward to his lap and picked at a hangnail while his face flushed a deep red. It must have taken a lot of guts to ask her to be his date after the vehement dislike she’d thrown at him for the past decade. When he pressed his lips together to stop them from quivering, her heart ached at the sweetness of this boy who’d tried to break through her wall for so many years.

The problem was that she didn’t want to go to prom, with him or anyone. It was a waste of time, a waste of money, and waste of her self-respect. She couldn’t understand why so many people made it such a big deal when it wasn’t, and she didn’t want to contribute to the group mentality that prom was anything more than an overhyped dance.

But then he raised his head to look at her and the wistfulness and hope reflected in his eyes drove her pride from her.

“Please?” he said so softly she barely heard him.

A ping shot through her stomach at his vulnerability, and she answered with a hesitant “yes” before she could stop herself. Relief and pure joy washed over his face when she accepted, and she knew she couldn’t renege without ruining the precarious friendship and study relationship they’d struggled to build over the last few months.

As a result, three weeks later, she found herself wearing a dress with too much poof and way more organza, tulle, and lace than she thought existed in the world. When she opened the door to greet him, she gasped at the sight of his broad shoulders covered in his black suit jacket and the way his hair angled away from his face so that his eyes pierced hers with their intensity. Even his cheekbones stood out more prominently than she remembered.

She couldn’t think of the last time anybody had looked so gorgeous, and it was clear he felt the same about her. His eyes sparkled with adoration as he took in her dress and her carefully braided hair. Her mother had spent hours getting it just right as she fidgeted and twitched in her chair.

Peeta brought her a wrist corsage of wild primrose that made her throat ache at his thoughtfulness. It was no secret that she adored her sister. While most of her classmates fought with their siblings like cats and dogs, she thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Prim. Peeta didn’t question it. Instead, he often invited Prim along to their study sessions and gave her a treat from the bakery while they worked through their homework together.

Peeta’s plans for prom were perfect, so she knew on that night and still knew to this day that what happened wasn’t really his fault. However, she had been so humiliated that she couldn’t quite get past the anger she had misdirected at him.

Prom started out as many other dances did. No one danced, and everyone stood awkwardly around the edge of the room waiting for someone else to make the first move. Finally, a couple of over-eager underclassmen dragged their dates from the junior class onto the floor. After a couple of songs, Peeta extended his hand to her and asked for a dance.

It was a slow song, and she allowed him to pull her into his strong arms and against his solid body as they swayed to the music in the dimly lit room. She relaxed slightly as they moved together—until she felt something poking into her upper thigh. Confused, she pulled back to ask him what he had in his pocket.

His face flushed red, and he stammered, “N-nothing,” before pulling away to hold her several inches from his body.

It was then she realized what had happened, and her mouth hung open in shocked disgust.

“You have a boner on the dance floor?” she blurted much louder than she should have. A few couples turned their heads in her direction and snickered. Peeta’s face blushed darker red still, and he dropped his hands from her entirely.

He held his palms up and backed away a couple of feet. “I’m sorry,” he offered. “It was a natural reaction.”

She shook her head and walked back to the edge of the room to perch on a chair there. Peeta followed her slowly, his head down in humiliation, and sat next to her.

“Can’t you control yourself, Peeta?” she spit in exasperation. “We barely even like each other. So it’s not like we’re going to end up in some cheap hotel room together, fumbling around until we lose our virginity with uncomfortable sex, you getting off in ten seconds and me left wondering what was such a big deal.”

Anger and hurt colored his face, and he clenched his jaw. “I can control myself, Katniss, but you might want to open your eyes at some point because I _do_ like you. I have for ages, and I wasn’t going to do anything you didn’t want to do. I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you.”

Katniss was sure nothing could have been more of a shock. She knew Peeta liked her, but to really like her? To like her so much that his body reacted without any prompting from her, that he’d put up with her being a jerk to him for so many years, that he’d swallowed his pride to ask her out when she’d seen him as little more than an unwanted and unwelcome rival…

It was those thoughts that resulted in her giving into her own budding curiosity about sex after the prom ended.

The night itself had been so awkward, she was sure he thought she was having a miserable time, but she wasn’t. Instead, she spent the remainder of the night trying to figure out what she would do if Peeta presented her with an opportunity to explore things with him physically. By the time the DJ announced the last song of the night, Katniss wanted to leave but not because she wasn’t having any fun. It was because she was curious about what it would feel like to have Peeta’s mouth on hers, the weight of his muscular frame pressed on top of her as his strong hands weaved through her braid, causing loose strands to fall in waves over her shoulders.

When he asked if she was ready to go, she bit her lip and nodded before practically running to the car. Why hadn’t she considered this before? Once his erection pressed into her on the dance floor, she couldn’t stop the thoughts circulating in her mind, those of Peeta slipping inside her with his eyes closed in determination and sweat beading his forehead. The juncture between her legs practically dripped with arousal, and she needed to know what he felt like without the barrier of cloth between him and her hand.

Peeta, however, had other ideas. He drove her home and parked in front of her house before she realized what he was doing. Dismayed, she looked at him and asked, “What are we doing here?”

He looked at her in confusion and answered carefully, “I thought the night was over. You were so quiet all evening, I assumed you didn’t want to spend any more time with me.” He sounded defeated, and she really couldn’t blame him. She hadn’t been very nice to him.

“But,” she started before blushing such a deep red that it matched the rich reddish orange of her dress. “I—I thought—I mean…don’t you want to go somewhere? Somewhere private maybe?”

Peeta’s head jerked upward so fast, she feared he’d break his neck. Disbelief flickered in his eyes, and he gaped at her repeatedly in an attempt to decide whether or not she was serious.

“Are you sure?” he practically whispered.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she nodded sharply and returned her gaze to the windshield. She sat stiffly, scared senseless, but with so much anticipation that her hands shook in her lap.

Peeta pulled the car into a deserted grove of trees that was located off a wooded road a few miles from town and released a huge gust of air.

With his eyes fixed on the trees surrounding the car, he asked tentatively, “Are you sure about this, Katniss? You said earlier tonight that you barely even like me. This seems… well, it seems like a one-eighty if you’re…you know.”

She didn’t look at him. She only nodded again and said with a shaky voice, “I’m sure.”

Peeta leaned toward her and tilted her face towards his. He moved closer, and his warm breath caused the hair to stand up on her arms.

“Katniss,” he whispered in awe before brushing his lips against hers.

Waves of warmth rushed through her body as his mouth caressed hers, and she remembered now in embarrassment the way she’d practically attacked him. She turned and threw her arms around him, putting him in a lip lock that caused him to grunt in surprise. She slipped her hand down to his crotch and grabbed him through his pants so hard that he jumped, and her cheeks burned in humiliation when she recalled that it had been her who pulled them into the backseat when he reacted to her. The shift from front to back was also probably why they missed the flash of headlights that flickered across the car. They had been much too preoccupied with each other.

Peeta seemed to try to slow things down, but she was insistent. She reached behind her to unzip her dress, and his mouth found her nipples without hesitation. She arched into him and pulled at his fly until she managed to free his cock and jerk it a few times. She was wild and out of control. Peeta croaked, “Katniss, slow down,” as she pulled his mouth to hers and bit his bottom lip while jacking him off.

A moan of pleasure emitted through Peeta’s chest, and his breath caught before he groaned in supplication. His body tensed and pulsed as he spilled into her hand, spurting thick, sticky streams up her arm and all over the skirt of her prom dress.

She shrieked in surprise, and his face froze in horror. “Oh god, Katniss…” he sputtered before he fell silent.

Katniss lifted her arm and watched a glob of moisture drip from it and onto her dress. She knew he was humiliated, but so was she, and what happened next only served to make it worse.

They both jumped in shock when a hand slapped against the outside of the car’s window. A rush of profanity followed as Peeta’s mother screamed at both of them at the top of her lungs. Peeta fumbled to tuck himself back into his pants and tug her dress over her breasts, but there wasn’t anything to do about the residue from Peeta’s orgasm except to wipe the rest of it on her skirt.

“WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING? You filthy girl! What are you doing tempting my son this way?!” his mother screeched as she flung the door open and pulled Peeta from the car by his hair.

Peeta tried to placate her and calm her down, all the while attempting to apologize to Katniss, but nothing could save the situation from being awkward. Katniss found out later that Peeta’s mother had followed them from the dance to check up on their post-prom activities. Not only was it a gross invasion of Peeta’s privacy, but it was creepy to Katniss. When Peeta made an effort to apologize again later, she didn’t want to hear it. Nothing could erase the abject degradation she felt at pushing Peeta so fast that he prematurely ejaculated on her arm right as his mother caught them together in the back seat.

After prom, Katniss avoided Peeta liked the plague, and after a few weeks, Peeta gave up trying to approach her. It helped that the school year ended only a few days after that and they didn’t have to see each other again until the beginning of their senior year.

She missed him, she admitted to herself when she spent hours slogging through AP biology homework and wrote a ten-page term paper on Shakespeare. Her grades didn’t suffer though, and Peeta respected her distance. He continued to show her he was open to her approaches, but she refused to cross the line. Her mortification was simply too much to hurdle.

Back in the present in the hallway of Coriolanus Snow High, with her long-time rival following behind her at a safe distance, Katniss strode purposefully toward the counselor’s office. Peeta hurried to keep up with her and attempted to break the ice.

“What do you think Thread wants?” he asked, his voice matter-of-fact but with a hint of curiosity.

She snapped at him, “Nothing. We’re going to see the counselor, remember?”

“Well, yeah, Katniss. I just meant—”

“I know what you meant,” she barked at him, and he fell silent.

She rounded the corner and put her hand on the door of the counselor’s office when Peeta reached out and covered her hand with his. She jerked to a stop and whipped her head to look at him with eyes that flashed with anger.

“Don’t touch me!” she almost yelled.

His voice was gentle, soothing, as he pled, “Katniss, come on. It’s been a year. We’re going to graduate in a few weeks, and we’ll never see each other again. Can we please bury the hatchet?”

“I don’t want to bury the hatchet,” she sputtered. “Get out of my way.”

Peeta stepped back and allowed her to pull open the door to Mrs. Trinket’s office. Effie Trinket, the school counselor, looked up and took in Katniss’ flushed face and Peeta’s chagrined expression. Without blinking an eye, she waved them forward.

“Come in, come in, children. It’s a big, big, big day! I have some scholarship information for you both and news about your class rank. We have to get ready for graduation,” she tittered.

Katniss swallowed her irritation and sat down to hear what the counselor had to say about her future. She’d struggled for thirteen years to escape from this town and go to college so that she could make a better life for herself and her sister. She’d toiled side by side with Peeta in an attempt to make it through her junior year without letting her GPA slip. She’d worked three times as hard her senior year to keep those grades without his help. Pretty soon Peeta wouldn’t matter. Nothing would except the opportunity to get out and help make Prim’s and her lives better.

Peeta and she both sat anxiously in their chairs and faced Mrs. Trinket. She fiddled with her hair for a few minutes and pushed the brightly colored curls from her face as she juggled papers.

“Now, children,” she started, and Katniss rolled her eyes at being addressed as an infantile. “I know you’ve both driven yourselves very, very, very hard, and I’m thrilled to be able to give you such good news.”

She smiled warmly at them, but Katniss wanted nothing more than to hear the results. “What’s the news?” she cried, unable to control herself. Peeta chuckled at her impatience, which earned a look of disgust from her and an indulgent smile from the counselor.

“Patience, dear, patience!” she clucked and tapped a stack of papers together. “You’ll be happy to know that you are practically tied in class rank and GPA. Peeta has the edge because of an A+ he got in art his freshman year, so congratulations!”

Katniss’ stomach dropped at the information. She thought they were tied. She knew she had no hope of beating him out this last semester, so he’d won if that were true. She dropped her gaze to her lap and twisted her hands together. She needed the extra scholarship money the top position would get her. There were only a few hundred dollars in difference between valedictorian and salutatorian, but every single one of them mattered to her. Peeta’s family wasn’t much better off financially. They did all right, she knew, but not enough that he could make it through college without help.

“Congratulations,” she muttered in an attempt to be gracious.

“Thanks,” he responded softly. She knew he could tell how upset she was.

“Now, Katniss, there’s good news for you both. Don’t look so glum.”

Katniss fixed her eyes on the counselor and willed her to reveal the information she needed to hear.

“You’ve both been such good students and ambassadors for the school that Panem State University has taken note. For the first time ever, PSU has decided to grant both of you full-ride scholarships.”

A wide smile broke across her face, and Katniss felt her heart lurch in joy. “Really?” she squealed. She’d never squealed before in her life, but this occasion seemed to call for it.

“Really,” Mrs. Trinket said with a deliberate nod. “You’re both headed to the same college in the fall—unless you want to turn down the Tribute Scholarship. By the way, no one has ever done that. No one. The Tribute scholarship is… well, it’s the most prestigious scholarship in the nation.”

Katniss almost leapt for joy until she realized what the words meant. With trepidation she looked at Peeta, who sat stoically in his chair. When he turned to face her, his eyes locked with hers, and she bristled at his voice.

“Well, I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other over the next few years.” His voice was measured, and she could tell he was working hard to hide any hint of relief, irritation, or happiness.

“I guess so,” she reluctantly agreed.

When they were out in the hall, Peeta turned to her and said, “Classmates, friends, rivals, tributes… I’ll just add it to my list of words to describe you.”

Katniss couldn’t shake her feeling of dread as she realized he would be around for at least another four years of her life—but there was also something comforting when he winked at her with his blue eyes. Despite their rivalry, Peeta had always been there for her, and she didn’t want to admit that made her feel better about the next step in her life.

“Always rivals,” she said firmly as she headed to her locker. She just wanted to go home and share the good news with her sister rather than dwell on another four years of close proximity to Peeta.

Why, then, was there a hint of a smile on her face?


	2. College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Peeta leave their hometown to attend Panem State University, but Katniss has no interest in continuing their friendship. While that works for a while, the universe has a way of putting Peeta in her path much too often. If she hates him so much, how does he keep getting under her skin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to xerxia for updating my banner. You're the best.

Katniss stared at the term paper her social deviance professor had just returned and let out a curse. Loudly. It didn’t seem to matter what she did in this class. It wasn’t ever quite good enough. She needed an A, and the B- staring back at her in hateful red just pissed her right off.

College was a hell of a lot harder than she’d ever imagined back in her tiny hometown. She’d worked hard in high school and earned her spot as salutatorian, but the transition to Panem State University hadn’t been easy. Huge classes, homesickness, massive amounts of paperwork and forms and hoops to jump through and learning what a syllabus was—any of those by themselves would have been enough, but all together… Katniss wasn’t too proud to admit the past three years had been absolutely gut-wrenching and terrible for her self-confidence.

Actually, it might have been the absence of her archrival over the past six semesters. Peeta Mellark, her nemesis, the golden boy who’d edged her out for valedictorian and nabbed the other full scholarship to the state’s land grant school was markedly absent from her life. Despite them being at PSU together, she’d hardly seen him since their freshman year. To be fair, she’d told him to leave her the hell alone during freshman orientation when he’d attempted to solidify their friendship, but it still surprised her he’d given up so easily. That wasn’t like him at all; not after thirteen years of pestering her to talk to him back home. Frustrated, she shoved her paper in her backpack and slunk from the classroom. With any luck, she’d have time to meet her boyfriend for lunch before heading to her afternoon class.

“Hey, Catnip,” Gale called and waved at her from across the student union. Gale Hawthorne, tall and handsome, leaned against the wall with his hip cocked as he waited for her to join him. They’d met at the beginning of her second semester of school and quickly formed a solid friendship. It hadn’t taken more than a few weeks before he’d asked her on a date. Surprised, she’d accepted, and they’d been together since then. Sometimes she wondered if there was any place left for their relationship to go, but most of the time she simply enjoyed having a dependable plus one, especially since she wasn’t much of a social butterfly and attending public events tended to make her anxious.

“I got a B- on that damn paper,” she muttered against his lips when he kissed her.

“I love you, too. Good to see you.”

“Don’t be passive aggressive,” she snapped. “Of course, I’m happy to see you. I’m dating you, aren’t I?”

Gale held up his hands in surrender. Motioning her forward, he waited for her to move in front of him before getting in line for a hamburger. She eyed the grill and sighed. She wanted nothing more than to soothe her irritation with a greasy burger and fries, but she’d packed on more than the Freshman Fifteen in the past few years. It wasn’t that she minded gaining a little weight. It was more that she couldn’t afford to buy new clothes, so she needed to fit into the ones she had. Unfortunately, the salad and cold turkey on white did little to improve her mood, and she grumbled at Gale most of the way through the meal.

Katniss should have known the universe was out to get her by the way her attitude was flat-out awful as she walked to the lecture hall where her psychology class met. She hated the class, although not the topic, if only for its sheer size. With over 500 students enrolled, there were more people in the lecture than had attended her high school. She should have gotten it out of the way along with her other general education courses during her freshman or sophomore year, but she’d thought saving it as a blowoff class when she was in upper level courses for her major was a good idea.

If she hadn’t waited to take psychology, she wouldn’t have been rushing to class when she saw him, and he wouldn’t have looked at her with those goddamn blue eyes that made her insides turn to mush in spite of her hatred for him. He wouldn’t have smiled at her smugly as the stunningly gorgeous blonde in his arms turned her face up for a kiss, which he gave her. With tongue.

“Gross,” she huffed and tripped over her own feet. She fell in a heap on the concrete, humiliated that he’d seen her if his laughter was any indication. Peeta Mellark didn’t even give her a second glance. Instead, he slid his arm around the girl and walked away. They both laughed while Katniss checked herself for injury. There was nothing else to do but pick herself up and limp along to class.

She was late, and the only spare seat was in the third row, right in front of the professor, who made a joke at her expense when she fell into her seat. Scowling, she concentrated on keeping her burning face downward as he explained the differences between Jung and Piaget and Skinner, and she didn’t really care if she was perfectly honest. Her ankle hurt like a mother, and the entire day had been a shitshow. By the time she got back to her apartment that night, the last thing she wanted was to have a conversation with anyone. Her roommate clearly had other ideas.

“How was your day?” Madge Undersee asked. Typically quiet, Madge seemed to be in a good mood. She clearly hadn’t had the same luck as Katniss had in the past eight hours.

“Terrible. Truly.”

“What happened?”

Katniss sighed loudly. Madge was a good friend, one of her very best, and Katniss thanked the universe that they’d been assigned as roommates their freshman year in college. She’d grown up only an hour away from where Katniss had, the daughter of the town’s mayor, so she had it together a little more than Katniss when they first met. Both were painfully shy, so it made sense that they stuck together, semester after semester, when finding another person to live with would have been terrible. Madge had also introduced Katniss and Gale, the attractive sophomore to their freshman status, and that had turned out pretty well, too. In other words, Madge was as good of a friend as she had, which meant Katniss felt compelled to answer.

“I’m going to fail social deviance,” she announced, overdramatic and pissy. “I got a B- on that term paper.”

“A B- isn’t failing.”

Katniss retorted, “It’s not an A, and we both know I need one of those if I want a snowball’s chance in hell to get into a decent grad school. If you’ll remember, a BS in social work doesn’t exactly lead to a lot of job opportunities.”

“Is that all, or was there more to this absolutely horrific day you’ve barely managed to survive?”

“I saw him,” she admitted, quietly.

“Who?”

Katniss glared at her roommate. Madge was supposed to know what it meant when she said, “him,” but it seemed she’d forgotten Katniss’ story about her contentious rivalry with the smug golden boy from her hometown.

“ _Him_!” she hissed and waved her hand to indicate Madge should keep thinking. “Mr. Premature.”

“Early ejaculation prom date dude?”

“Well, that’s one way to put it,” Katniss chuckled. “I like to call him Eager Beaver Peeta, but okay.”

“Where? What happened? What did he say?”

Madge wiggled her fingers and mimicked holding a bowl of popcorn, ready to watch the encounter unfold. Katniss didn’t feel much like reliving her humiliation, though, so she merely shrugged. “Had his tongue down the throat of a blonde who probably can’t tell you the difference between an apple and an imaginary number.”

“That’s a terrible analogy. Those two things are nothing alike.”

“And I rest my case. It’s too bad,” Katniss mused. “Peeta was always so much smarter than that. He liked brainiacs, not bimbos. Must have turned into a dude bro since he got here.”

Katniss missed whatever it was Madge mumbled under her breath, but it sounded something distinctly like, “Sounds like someone’s jealous and judgmental.” That couldn’t be right, so Katniss shoved it from her mind. She had better things to do with her evening than spend it thinking about Peeta Mellark. She was well-rid of him. Thank goodness for major universities that didn’t leave much room for two people with nothing in common to run into each other very often.

Except that was exactly what happened over the last several weeks of the semester. Katniss saw him everywhere—the cafeteria, the Panem State baseball game she went to with Gale for their weekly date, the building where her Thursday afternoon class met, the bookstore when she went to pick up an extra USB after forgetting hers at home. Why Peeta suddenly popped up wherever she was with that gorgeous blonde fawning all over him when she hadn’t seen him for almost three years, she had absolutely no idea. All she did know was that it sucked. It sucked big time, and she decided she’d simply never leave the house again.

“Come on, Catnip,” Gale prodded on the third Friday in a row she’d refused to do anything but spend the evening in his apartment. “This is my last semester here. I want to go do something instead of just sitting here.”

“I wasn’t aware my company was so terrible,” she said, her voice and gaze equally withering. He didn’t take the hint, and she bristled at his next statement.

“Well, you haven’t exactly been a ray of sunshine the past month. What’s gotten into you?”

“Absolutely nothing,” she snapped. “Since when have you wanted to go out and party on the weekends?”

“Since being with you seems more like attending a funeral than spending time with my girlfriend.”

The words hung between them for several long moments before Katniss drew back. Gale rushed to apologize, but she held up her hand to stop him. She didn’t want to hear anything he had to say at the moment. It didn’t really matter how much those words had been spoken in anger; a hint of honesty laced his statement, and Katniss didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who didn’t actually want to be with her.

“I think I should go,” she said and brushed him off when he tried to stop her. “Gale, don’t.”

He dropped his hands then and stood silently as he watched her leave. Furious, she threw up her middle fingers as she slammed the door to the building. It didn’t do any good at all, but that passive aggressive gesture made her feel significantly better until—

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Peeta Mellark stood on the sidewalk staring at her with wide blue eyes and an expression of baffled innocence. She had absolutely no patience for it.

Marching up to him, she got in his face and hissed, “I don’t like you. I never have. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Her venom was awful. She knew that, but things had been building for a while, and she absolutely lost it on him. He tried to back away, but Katniss kept pushing, invading his space in what should have been an ineffectual method of intimidation. He allowed her a little leeway, but it was only seconds before he’d had his fill and stood his ground.

“Katniss Everdeen,” he chuckled wryly. “Well, look at that. Haven’t seen you in years, and you still automatically assume that you’re better than me. Good to know nothing’s changed, and Miss High and Mighty still looks down her nose at all the commoners.”

She furrowed her brow. Stunned by his observation of her, she didn’t know how to respond. She’d never considered herself better than him. In fact, it’d been quite the opposite. She’d always thought he was way too good for her, with her poverty and mentally ill mother and dead father and a little sister tagging along on everything she did. She hadn’t had a single thing to offer Peeta the entire time she’d known him, and that made her feel terribly inadequate and defensive.

Peeta wobbled, and she had a sudden understanding. “Are you drunk?”

“Maybe,” he mumbled, his gaze resting somewhere about a foot over her left shoulder. “What’s it to you?”

“Nothing.”

At her shrug, his eyes blazed. “Nothing. Yeah, that sounds about right,” he spoke bitterly. “That’s what I always was to you, wasn’t it? No matter what I did or how hard I tried. You just didn’t ever care.”

His voice was sad and unsteady, just like Peeta himself. He blinked at her a few times, and then his shoulders slumped. He stumbled sideways and collapsed in a heap on the stairs to the building. His eyes closed, and he let his head drop back against the doorjamb. She winced at the smack that resonated when his skull made contact with the red brick.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t really have to. I got the message loud and clear, anyway.”

He trailed into silence, and she felt a momentary surge of pity and compassion. He looked terrible, and she didn’t want to leave him outside, drunk and possibly unable to get himself into his apartment. How she’d never realized he lived in the same building as Gale was a mystery to her. She was just about to offer him help when the gorgeous, perky blonde she’d seen him snuggling multiple times appeared.

“Peeta? What’s going on?”

Katniss cringed at the woman’s voice. High-pitched and overly cheerful, it set Katniss’ teeth on edge.

Peeta startled at the sound and popped his eyes open. He lifted his hand in greeting and then let it drop to his lap. “Glim. Hiiiiiiii… This is Katniss. Katniss, my girlfriend Glimmer. We went to school together. She hates me.”

Glimmer turned pale blue eyes on her, and Katniss hunched her shoulders. “I don’t hate you. Nice to meet you, Glimmer.”

The other woman didn’t bother to respond. Instead, she leaned down and tugged Peeta up by his armpits. “Let’s go inside, honey. I’ll take care of you.”

“You always do,” Peeta slurred, leaning heavily on Glimmer as she escorted him inside.

Katniss grimaced at an unwelcome image of Glimmer’s hands on Peeta’s body, her fingers caressing him, and him responding to her touch. Shoving it away, she cursed the evening and headed home. Her stomach rolled, and her head spun. Irritated and grumpy, she tugged her phone from her pocket and dialed her sister’s number.

“Katniss! Hi!”

“Hey, Little Duck,” she chuckled, using her sister’s childhood nickname. “What are you doing answering? I thought I’d have to leave a message. That you’d be out with your friends.”

“I took an early night. What’s up?”

“Nothing, in particular. Just felt like talking to somebody sane.”

“Uh oh. What happened?” Katniss heard rustling, and she could almost picture Prim snuggling into her blankets so she could listen.

“Gale and I had a fight,” she admitted.

“A bad one?”

“Only if you think having your relationship compared to attending a funeral is good.”

“Ouch.”

“I know. We were at his apartment. I left. Wondering if maybe this thing with him is played out. Maybe it’s gone as far as it’s gonna go. He’s leaving in May when he graduates, going to Chicago for a job, and I’ll be here for at least another year.”

Prim didn’t respond for a bit, but when she did, it was quiet and thoughtful. “You don’t seem too broken up at the idea.”

Katniss shrugged before remembering her sister couldn’t see her. “I’m not sure I am. Gale’s great, but…”

“No spark?”

“Too much work? The thought of fixing it with him just makes me tired.”

Prim laughed quietly. “That’s not a ringing endorsement.”

“No,” she agreed, “but you know what really ruined the night? I ran into Peeta as I left Gale’s building, and then we had a fight, too.”

“Peeta Mellark?”

“Yeah. He’s been popping up all over the place the past few months. I’d swear he’s stalking me if I believed in conspiracy theories.”

“How in the world did you get in a fight with him? He’s the nicest guy I know. You must be in a real mood tonight. Two for two.”

Offended, Katniss snapped, “Thanks for the confidence boost there, little sis. Of course, it was my fault. Couldn’t have been anything like Gale was being a dick and Peeta was drunk off his ass or anything. Nope. It’s all on grumpy Katniss Everdeen.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she insisted. “Peeta was drunk? What did he say?”

“That I thought I was better than everyone else and looked down my nose at him.” Swallowing hard, she added, “That I never cared about him.”

Silence stretched across the line, and Katniss thought she might crawl out of her skin if Prim didn’t say something soon. Finally, her sister broke the silence with an observation Katniss really didn’t want to admit was way too correct.

“Well, we both know that’s not true.”

“I really hate him.”

“That’s not the word I’d use, but okay.”

“His girlfriend showed up while we were talking. Helped him inside. Said she’d ‘take care of him.’ I’m sure that’s a euphemism.”

“Bet that didn’t sit well.”

Indignant, she spat, “Peeta can sleep with whoever he wants. I don’t care one bit.”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay, I’m gonna go. You’re making me feel worse instead of better.”

Prim sighed loudly, irritating Katniss further. “You’re a stubborn mule, Katniss Everdeen, but I love you. Get a good night’s sleep, and talk to Gale tomorrow. You might realize you want to keep what you have going for a little while longer. As for Peeta…”

“As for Peeta, there’s nothing to do. We’re rivals. Always have been. I don’t ever want to ever speak to him again. Ever. Never ever ever. I just want to prove I belong here and do it better than him.”

“Whatever you say, but that’s a lot of evers.”

“Good night, Prim,” she grumbled and ended the call. Thankfully, Madge was out when Katniss entered their apartment, so she crawled under the covers and shut out the rest of the world. She didn’t want to think about Gale or Peeta or anyone else for the next twelve hours.

The problem was things didn’t improve the next morning or the morning after that or for the next few weeks. Peeta continued to pop up in places where Katniss happened to be, and she told Gale she didn’t want to socialize when she needed to concentrate on finishing the semester strong. Obviously irritated by her decision, he nodded and went out without her. She couldn’t figure out if she was relieved or upset, which didn’t bode well for how things would go once they lived in separate cities. Sure enough, Katniss attended Gale’s graduation, the family gathering after, and swallowed her anxiety when he asked her to meet him the next day.

“Hey, Catnip,” he said before kissing her. The use of her nickname made her throat ache just a little at the thought she might not hear it again after their conversation.

“Give it to me straight, okay?” Gale winced and gestured for her to sit. When she was settled, he perched on the edge of the couch and faced her. He was nervous, she realized, and that made her feel slightly better.

“I’m not sure what’s going on with you, but I know things have been a little tense between us the past few months,” he began. “I think we’re good together, but I’m not sure where you are with this move I’m making. As much as I don’t want to lose you, I’d rather know now than get dumped once I’m in Chicago.”

“I’m not—” She stopped herself because she’d not thought of it that way, that she was the one in control and could decide whether or not they stayed together. For some reason, she’d convinced herself Gale was calling the shots instead of them being in this together. It was unsettling to realize she’d been thinking that way, while he’d been considering the other.

“I think you are,” he chided. “I think you’ve got a lot of thoughts about this, and you’re not sharing them with me very well. I’m trying to be patient, but we can’t keep putting off this conversation in the hopes it’ll fix itself. It’s not going to do that. We’re going to have to make a decision before I leave next week.”

Katniss blinked moisture from her eyes. It was unexpected, the emotions that rushed through her at his gentle plea. Gale was all self-confidence bordering on cocky and determination and motivation and trail blazing. That he was also kind and self-aware and gentle and loving was part of his appeal. She didn’t want to lose him either, but how could they survive with her still at Panem State and him moving to the next phase of his life several hundred miles away?

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted, her throat clogged with unshed tears. “I don’t know how to respond to the question you’re asking.”

He frowned with sad eyes. “I think that means you know what the answer is.”

Her stomach sank. He was right. She knew what they should do, but she still didn’t know how to admit it. He’d been such a big part of her life for so long, and she still loved him. The problem was she didn’t love him enough to commit to a long-distance relationship. Not during her senior year of college. Not when she didn’t know what her future held or where she’d be after another year. And definitely not when blonde curls and blue eyes still made her wonder if she was too young to tie herself to someone so tightly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to pull away from you or hurt you. I just…”

She didn’t know how to explain that either. How could she tell her boyfriend the reason she stopped going out during the last few months of his senior year was because running into a man that wasn’t him affected her so much? That wasn’t what anyone wanted to hear. It would seem as if she was interested in another man or that she’d strayed from a committed relationship, and that wasn’t the issue at all. She’d been completely faithful to Gale. Besides, she didn’t even like Peeta.

“Hey,” Gale crooned and turned her face to his. “I know you didn’t. It’s okay. It’s really okay, but I’m going to miss you so much.”

She blinked rapidly, and almost missed him leaning toward her. When his lips brushed against hers, she jolted before relaxing her shoulders and responding. Gale was so familiar, so comfortable, and so normal. It was easy to let it happen, to fall into familiar rhythms and take one last night to enjoy what they were together.

As their skin cooled and their breathing returned to normal, Gale rubbed her back and murmured into her ear, “Don’t write me off completely. We can always see where we are in a year. Maybe you’ll miss this.”

“Maybe,” she agreed. She held onto that promise when she dressed and kissed him goodbye. Slipping from his apartment, she wasn’t prepared when she opened the outside door and came face to face with Peeta.

“Taking the walk of shame a little early?” he asked flatly, and she glared at him.

“Not too early for you to do a little slut shaming, apparently,” she snapped. “What I do and who I do it with is none of your damn business.”

“You seem to do it a lot.”

Tears pricked her eyes, and she had to swallow before she could force an answer. “Not that it’s any of your damn business, but we just broke up. What a shame. No more unfortunate run-ins with someone I hate when I’m enjoying time with someone I loved.”

She didn’t miss the hurt that flashed across his face, but she didn’t feel guilty at all. It wasn’t rational, but she blamed him for her breakup with Gale. If he hadn’t invaded her life so much, she wouldn’t have stayed home on the weekends to avoid him, and then the conversation that led to the end of her relationship wouldn’t have happened. That wasn’t logical, but she didn’t care. As far as she was concerned, Peeta Mellark had always been the reason her life didn’t work out the way she wanted.

“Katniss, I’m s—”

“Just don’t,” she barked. “Don’t you dare try to come out of this smelling like roses. Don’t pretend you’re sorry my life keeps sucking while yours is perfect. And don’t follow me.”

With that, she turned and stalked back to her apartment where she could hide. She didn’t look back to see the misery on his face.


	3. Senior Year

Katniss took in a deep breath and sagged against a tree trunk. The August heat was oppressive, and she didn’t have the energy to move somewhere more private. She should have known to stay away from the quadrangle where students gathered on the first week of class. Things were different this year, though, and she’d gotten sucked into hoping they weren’t. Gale was gone. She’d enrolled in her last fall semester, and she just wanted to get through it without anything going wrong.

“If it isn’t Katniss Everdeen.”

Her skinned crawled at the honeyed tone behind her. She refused to turn around to face him. Clearly, her bargain with the universe had failed because her nemesis hadn’t fallen off the face of the earth.

“I don’t want to speak to you.”

“You never do,” he chuckled and settled down beside her. When she made to get up, he grabbed her forearm and requested softly, “Please, don’t go.”

“Why not? We have nothing to say to each other.”

“You can’t even give me a few minutes?”

“I’ve given you more of my time than you deserve. Why won’t you take the hint?”

Peeta let out a long, uneven breath. “Fine. I’ll leave—”

“Good.”

“—but I hope you have a good year.”

“Yeah, you, too,” she muttered dismissively, and then glared at his back as he walked away. She wouldn’t allow herself to acknowledge that he looked defeated or that, despite her anger, he was still one of the most attractive men she’d ever met. She certainly wouldn’t let herself examine why she was still so angry with him for working hard and doing his best, and she refused to admit it wasn’t his fault his mother had caught them in a compromising position.

Guilt was probably the reason she ended up relenting when she ran into him later that week. He didn’t approach her when they saw each other across the classroom, but she timed her exit to coincide with his. He slowed to let her pass, but she kept pace with him for several steps until he finally stopped altogether.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. What do you mean?”

“You told me to leave you alone. I’m trying to do that.”

Katniss sighed and tugged on the end of her braid. He wasn’t going to make this easy on her, and she couldn’t really blame him. She’d been nothing but terrible to him for years.

“I didn’t expect to see you in the class, that’s all. Thought maybe you were following me again.”

Peeta laughed harshly and scoffed, “You know we have the same major. I’m shocked we haven’t had more classes together in the past three years.”

Katniss stopped in her tracks, and her mouth fell open. Since when were they the same major?

“You’re a social work major?”

Peeta rolled his eyes and scowled at her. “Yeah. I have been since I started here. Good to know you really didn’t pay any attention to me at all.”

“How did I not know this?” she cried, completely flustered.

“Because you’ve avoided every speck of my existence when you aren’t telling me off?” he answered, his tone flat. “Like I said, good to know you really weren’t aware of anything having to do with me. Can I get past you? I have another class.”

“I do, too. Where are you going?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Social Welfare Policy with Heavensbee.”

She swallowed hard. “That’s where I’m going.”

“I’ll be sure to stay out of your way.”

“Peeta,” she said and reached out to touch him lightly on the forearm.

“Please don’t. You’ve made it very clear where you stand,” he said wearily. “I can’t deal with the whiplash. Don’t pretend like we can be friends again.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I kind of really do.”

He swept by her then, and she stood rooted to the ground for several seconds before scurrying after him. He might not want to speak to her, but she still needed to get to class. No need to be late on the first week.

****

Katniss spent the next two months trying. Dogged, consistent, tenacious, persistent, resolute. All the synonyms for stubborn were what she used to describe her attempts to repair the rift between her arch-rival and herself. She wasn’t even sure why she wanted to. She’d spent so long hating him, pushing him away, convincing herself that he represented all that was evil. So, why did she care that he rebuked her every time she attempted to talk to him?

“Madge, I don’t know what to do anymore,” she whined one evening as they hung out at their apartment together. “It doesn’t really matter what I do. He just won’t talk to me.”

Madge considered her for a moment, and Katniss swore her roommate hid a smirk. She wanted to call her out, but Katniss wasn’t sure she really cared to know what Madge actually thought about her situation.

“I find it interesting,” Madge finally said.

“What?”

“I think it’s fascinating that this guy’s always reached out to you, tried to be your friend, helped you when you needed it, and then after you told him to leave you alone for the millionth time, you suddenly can’t handle that he won’t forgive you.”

Katniss swallowed against the swell of panic in her throat. She’d barely seen him the first three years of her college career. They were from the same town; they had the same major; they were in the same classes, and there was no indication she’d be rid of him any time soon. And yet, he would barely acknowledge her presence.

“It just seems like a waste,” she said, unsure if that was what the problem really was or not. “We could be helping each other through the last year. Practicums and all that stuff is really difficult, so we could be… I don’t know. It’s stupid. He’s stupid. It’s dumb to be bothered by this.”

“Why do you think you are?”

“Don’t try to psychoanalyze me, Madge Undersee. I’m wise to your ways.”

“Wise and dumb at the same time. That’s an interesting dichotomy you’ve got going on, lady.”

Katniss sighed and decided to change the subject. This one wasn’t doing them any favors. “Maybe we can go out this weekend or something. It’s senior year, so we should take advantage. What?” she asked when Madge shot her a pointed look.

“Oh, nothing. Just that Gale did the same thing last year in spite of you refusing to be out in public, and it led to you two breaking up. What’s changed?”

“You’re determined to ruin my semester, aren’t you?”

“No. I’m just pointing out some things that you might want to consider,” Madge insisted. “You know I’m in your corner. Always. I don’t even know this guy. What’s his name? Peter?”

“Peeta. Peeta Mellark.”

“That’s a nice name.”

Katniss shrugged. “I guess.”

“Brown hair? Eyes?”

“No. He’s blonde with blue eyes.”

“Dimples?”

“Yeah.”

“He sounds hot.” Her cheeks heated, and Madge grinned. “Good looking?”

“Right, so I’ve got a paper due tomorrow. I’ll talk to you later.”

“You don’t have a paper due tomorrow. You told me yourself you didn’t have anything to do tonight less than an hour ago.”

“Fine!” Katniss snapped. “Then, I just don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“It’s okay to take a little alone time,” Madge called to her retreating back, and Katniss flipped her off over her shoulder. Katniss decided she’d go to her grave before admitting she might have, maybe, possibly used her vibrator more than once before she fell asleep that night.

****

“Good morning, and welcome to your practicum,” the professor said while Katniss yawned and took a massive gulp of her coffee. It was too hot and burned her tongue. She hissed in pain after swallowing. Peeta, who was sitting a row up and two seats over, ignored her.

“One thing you’re going to need in this class is a good partner. Take a look around, and see who you might want to work with. There’ll be a semester long portfolio due in late April that’ll make up the bulk of your grade. While your grade is based on your own work, having a good partner can elevate what you do to a higher level.”

There was a distinct sinking feeling in her stomach. She wasn’t very good at making friends, and that was pretty much the gold standard for how to get someone to like her enough to work with her over the course of the entire semester. It was too much to hope that the one person she knew in the class might actually agree to be her partner. Peeta’s frostiness hadn’t thawed at all since her failed attempts during the fall to get him to forgive her. In fact, like the weather, it had only grown more frigid. Regardless, she decided to take a risk. Once the professor dismissed them, she practically jumped the row so she could follow him out of the classroom.

“Peeta, wait!” she called, breathless.

He slowed reluctantly and waited for her impatiently. When she stood in front of him, he barked, “What do you want this time?”

Hurt, she almost walked away without asking, but she really needed to do well in her practicum if she wanted to get a grant for grad school. After all, moving to Chicago was going to be expensive enough by itself. Living there while paying for a master’s would be prohibitive enough she’d have to consider another school entirely.

“I was wondering if maybe you’d want to be partners? For this portfolio thing,” she asked, her voice small and shaking. “I mean, you know what you’re getting with me. We’ve worked well together in the past.”

He stared at her stonily before shaking his head and walking away. Stunned, she watched him take several strides before hurrying after him.

“Oh, come on! What’s wrong with you? Why are you holding such a grudge? Aren’t you ever going to forgive me?”

Fuming, he rounded on her. “Are you ever going to actually apologize? Because I don’t remember one of those. Excuses, yes, but never an actual apology. Why in the world should I forgive you for something you won’t even acknowledge you did? I’m sorry, but I’m done letting you walk all over me. I’ve tried for years to get you to give a shit about me, and you don’t. I’m not going to beg for scraps of attention anymore.”

Katniss didn’t know what to say—mostly because she realized he was right. She’d never said she was sorry to him, hadn’t let him know she felt bad for her jealousy and irritation that he was so good at everything when she struggled sometimes. Sometimes she just didn’t think.

“Peeta! Please, stop. I’m sorry!”

She grabbed his arm when she caught him, but he wouldn’t look at her. He blinked several times, and she was horrified to realize his eyes were wet. His chest heaved several times before he finally turned a cool gaze to her, but he still refused to speak.

“I’ve been a jerk. I know that, and I didn’t realize I hadn’t said sorry at all this year. I really didn’t, but you deserve to hear that. I’m sorry for pushing you away. Let’s face it, I’ve been pretty mean to you.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Look, I get it. I screwed up. You weren’t exactly nice to be last year either. I don’t blame you, necessarily, but some of the stuff you said was pretty terrible.”

He had the grace to look a little abashed, and he shook his arm loose and ran a hand through his hair as he sighed. Motioning to a bench a few yards away, he said roughly, “Sit. Let’s hash this out before I make any promises to you.”

She perched on the edge of the bench since there was still some snow from the previous week’s storm. It was cold, the bone chilling wet iciness of late January when the sun set in the afternoon and the daylight lasted what felt like only a few hours. The gray sky overhead indicated more wintry mix was on the way, and she suddenly had a craving for hot chocolate and something from the Mellark Bakery. It was the first pang of nostalgia and homesickness she’d experienced in a long while.

“You’re right,” Peeta said, breaking her out of her reverie. “I wasn’t very nice to you last year. You’d made it clear you didn’t want anything to do with me back during our freshman year, and my feelings were hurt. Are hurt. I thought if I stayed away from you, I’d get over it, but then you started showing up all over the place last year. It pissed me off, and I took it out on you. You also probably kind of deserved it.”

Her face was rapidly turning numb, as was her ass, but she tried to concentrate. Even if they couldn’t get everything worked out between them, she at least needed a reliable partner for her semester project.

“Sure,” she agreed. “We were both shitty to each other for different reasons, but you know we work well together. Even if you hate me, can’t we put that aside and be partners? At least we know what we’re getting if we work together. If not me, you could end up with some complete idiot who’ll stick you with all the work and then take credit for everything at the end.”

“Is that really what you want?” he asked, his eyes raking over her form. She was shivering a lot, and she had a brief flash of a mental image with his arm around her, keeping her warm as he tucked her up against his side.

“I’d really like to work with you,” she said even though she couldn’t feel her lips. “I promise I’ll pull my weight.”

“You don’t weigh more than my right leg,” he teased. “Pretty sure I’ll still be putting in all the work if that’s the case.”

“I’ll do my part. I promise. Snowballs, it’s cold out here.”

“Snowballs? Is that your way of cussing?”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around herself to regulate her body heat. “I had a little sister, remember? Had to get creative. Lots of fudges and snowballs and dagnabits when I was growing up.”

Peeta chuckled and closed his eyes like he regretted all his life decisions, and maybe he did. “Fine. I’ll be your partner on this project. I’m not promising to make it easy on you, though. You have a tendency to lash out at people who get close to you.”

“D-d-do you w-want to get s-some tea or something?”

“You remember I like tea?”

She nodded sharply. “Yeah, because it’s weird. Coffee and hot chocolate are clearly superior.”

She was shaking so hard she could barely get out the words. Peeta shook his head and rose. “Sorry. I have to meet my girlfriend, but if you head into the commons, a friend of mine is working at the coffee shop right now. Ask for the Mellark special, and he’ll hook you up.”

He strode off then, and Katniss rose slowly and trudged inside. She wasn’t sure if the soreness in her throat was from the cold or the sickening feeling in her stomach that Peeta still had a girlfriend. Resolute, she decided it didn’t matter. They were partners on their senior practicum, and that was worth something.

****

Katniss leaned back from the table and stretched. Tired and stiff, she rolled her shoulders and rubbed her eyes as she waited for Peeta to arrive. She’d been in the library for a couple of hours already, but that was to be expected during the last semester. Between her practicum and the project on which she and Peeta were partnered, she barely had time to shower, let alone sleep or hang out with her friends.

“Hey. Sorry I’m late,” Peeta said in greeting and flopped into the chair opposite her.

“It’s fine.”

“Don’t be snippy. I was working.”

“Oh, really?” she said dryly. “Working. With your girlfriend again?”

Peeta flushed. Toying with his jacket, he refused to look at her. “Maybe.”

“You blew off our project for College Barbie?”

“Her name is Cashmere, and you don’t have to be so snide. You practically begged me to be your partner, if I remember correctly. You could have asked someone else if you were so worried about my work ethic.”

“Glimmer,” Katniss snorted. “That’s the worst name I’ve ever heard. Is it a nickname? Do you throw her in the air and let her stick to you?”

“Okay, named after a potato. I’ll take your opinion into account the next time she’s sticking to my skin.”

Katniss had to work hard not to gag. The last thing she wanted was to picture Peeta with his girlfriend, and she definitely didn’t want to think about him naked with anyone. Unless it was her. Flustered, she pushed that thought from her mind. Clearly, she was losing it. She didn’t like Peeta that way. She wasn’t even sure she liked him at all other than the fact that she knew he worked hard in school.

“Gross,” she muttered. “Let’s just get to work.”

“I’ve got the articles you asked me to look up the last time we met.”

“Great. I’ll—”

“I already did. Check your email. It’s there.”

“The entire bibliography?”

“Yup, and I also read the first ten and wrote up a synopsis of each for you. I didn’t get to the other five, but I’ll take care of that tonight and send them in the morning. I also cross-referenced with the cases we picked and wrote an outline for the project.”

Katniss glanced at him and gritted her teeth. Damn, he was good. He always had been, but this was just above and beyond.

“That’s great.”

“And I managed to do that and my girlfriend, too.”

“Please just don’t,” she snapped. “I don’t need to know what you do in your free time. Just…I don’t want to know anything.”

“I don’t think that’s actually true,” he said with a grin but motioned at the pile of papers on the table between them. “Regardless, we have work to do. Hit me, Everdeen. Impress me with what you’ve managed to get done.”

“If I tell you what brilliance I’ve managed, can I really hit you?” she asked sweetly. “I’ve always wanted to smack you in your face.”

“Funny, funny. Seriously, though. What did you find?”

They spent the next hour poring over the information they’d gathered. After seven weeks, they’d accumulated plenty of sources and cases they planned to use to create their portfolio. Peeta was a master at consuming a massive amount of information and synthesizing it in a short amount of time. Katniss was good at plucking at loose ends and following the threads to find more in depth information that fleshed out their suggestions and recommendations. They made a great team, and she was grateful he’d forgiven her snarky behavior enough to put their academic career first, even if she did still want to smack him half the time.

“I need to go.”

“Hot date?”

Peeta rolled his eyes and packed up his things. “My mom’s supposed to call. I’d like to be home for it. You going to be in town over Spring Break? Want to keep working on this?”

“Can’t. Going to Chicago. Got an interview with a grad program there. Fingers crossed it goes well. It’s for a fellowship.”

“Yeah?” he asked. “University of Chicago?” She nodded, too overcome with nerves to say anything else. “Good school for social work. Good luck. See you when you get back.”

“Have a good one.”

When he was gone, she pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed.

“Catnip! To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Hey, Gale. Still okay for me to stay with you next week when I’m in town for the interview?”

“Of course. It’ll be good to see you again. I’ve missed you.”

His voice sent a thrill through her. It’d been a long time since anyone wanted her, and she craved the feeling. If things went well during her interview, she’d be back in the same city with her ex-boyfriend, and maybe they could pick things back up where they’d ended. If nothing else, she’d finally be free of the specter of her rival. Peeta Mellark wouldn’t be anywhere near the University of Chicago.

****

“Anything else you’d like to share with us, Katniss?”

“No, I’m just really excited about this opportunity, and I really appreciate your willingness to meet with me.”

“We’ll be contacting all the applicants within a few weeks. Until then, thank you for your interest in the University of Chicago.”

Katniss shook hands with each member of the committee and left the room. Breathing a sigh of relief, she walked outside and waved to Gale. She fell into him, allowing him to hold her tightly against his chest. It had been so easy to fall back into what they’d had when she’d arrived a few days prior. They’d kept in touch since he’d left Panem State, and the feelings between them were still real.

“How’d it go?”

“It felt good. Really, really good.”

He kissed the top of her head and chuckled. “I’m so proud of you, and I can’t wait to have you up here with me next year. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you, too.”

“What do you think…”

Katniss leaned back to glance at his face. Surprised at the seriousness in his expression, she urged, “What do I think…?”

He fidgeted and loosened his arms. “Maybe… I mean, I was just thinking, maybe you could move in with me?”

“Really?” She couldn’t stop the grin that spread across her face. After almost a year without him, she was ready for something familiar and comfortable instead of frustrating and irritating. Being with Gale again after the past few months of sparring with Peeta seemed a little like perfection.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I know that might seem quick to some people, but I think it might just be really right for us.”

“Then, yes,” she agreed. “I think that’s what’s right for us.”

Katniss drifted on that promise for the rest of her visit, and she was still feeling very warm and fuzzy when she returned to campus and met up with Peeta.

“How was break?” he asked as he pulled out his books and laptop. “I got a lot done, so I think we can probably finish up the first section today and maybe start on the second.”

Katniss studied him carefully. He seemed distracted, but she didn’t want to pry, and she wasn’t sure how much she wanted to share with him about her trip. They weren’t really friends, anyway. At most, they were project partners who just happened to be from the same town. He had a girlfriend, and she’d just made plans to move in with Gale in the fall. It was probably better to keep things polite but distant between them. That seemed the safest.

“It was fine,” she answered noncommittedly. “Glad you were able to get something done. Let’s take a look.”

Peeta didn’t push, and she didn’t offer for the entire rest of the semester. They worked on their project, spent time together in the library, saw each other in class, but that was it. They didn’t blur the lines, and that was how she wanted it.

The evening before they turned in their project, Peeta sat back and grinned at her. “I can’t believe we’re almost done. This has been a process, but I’m really proud of everything we’ve managed to work in here. This is A grade work, for sure.”

“Too bad we won’t have each other to lean on next year,” she said, but she didn’t really mean it. Secretly, she was thrilled to leave him behind.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I’m going to Chicago.”

“And?”

Katniss looked at him then, confused about his meaning. “What do you mean? I’m going to Chicago, and you’re going…?”

Her stomach sank when his eyes sparkled. She knew that expression, and it meant trouble.

“To Chicago. I got my fellowship offer the day after you did. Did I not tell you?”

She didn’t have words. How could she when she’d been counting on finally getting away from him when the school year ended? She’d been so excited the day she found out she’d received the fellowship, so thrilled to move to a new place and start over with Gale, and now… Now, she was going to have to do it all over again—compete with Peeta, decide whether it was worth it to keep him as an ally or treat him like the enemy he really was.

“But why?”

“Why enroll in one of the best Social Work programs in the nation? Why accept a fellowship worth hundreds of thousands of dollars?” he asked, his face incredulous. “Gee, let me think.”

“Why are you following me?”

“Katniss, I’m not following you. I’m doing what’s best for me and my life. It’ll be nice to have someone from home and undergrad there with me, but I would have made the decision whether you went there or not.”

“Congratulations,” she managed to say, but she felt absolutely sick. Instead of her escaping her past, it looked like it would follow her for the next two years.


	4. Graduate School

“Welcome home!”

Gale smiled at her, and Katniss tugged on the end of her braid before snuggling into his arms. She’d just made it to Chicago, her car full to the brim with her belongings, and all she wanted to do was take a shower and eat before collapsing into a puddle of exhaustion. Gale obviously had other ideas, and she fought the urge not to shrug away from his embrace. He kissed her long and hard, and she pulled away when he tilted her head to deepen the kiss.

Putting her hand on his chest to push him away, she said, “I need a shower.”

He grinned, and she shook her head. She wasn’t looking to get busy in a shower stall. She really just wanted to wash the road grime off her. There wasn’t anything sexy about any of that.

“Down the hallway. Second door on the left.”

“Thank you.”

Maybe that wasn’t the nicest thing to do when Gale was so obviously happy to see her. They hadn’t been intimate in a long time, not since they’d ended their relationship before he left Panem University, but this wasn’t the moment. She really did feel disgusting, and not in the good way.

She turned the water on as hot as she could stand and breathed in the steam as she stripped. She tugged her hair loose, combing it out with her fingers. By the time she stepped into the stall, the temperature was close to scalding. With a lusty sigh, she let the water sluice over her, melting the tension from her shoulders and easing the anxiety from her bones. The drive had gone well, but it was still half a day and hundreds of miles. It wasn’t something she wanted to repeat any time soon.

She allowed her mind to wander. Images of her in class, surrounded by her classmates, Peeta miserable in the corner of the room, made her smile. She knew it wasn’t fair to dislike him again, but she’d been so stunned at his announcement that he was following her to Chicago that she hadn’t even spoken to him after they’d turned in their final project. She simply had no interest in seeing him again, but their never-ending rivalry would continue at least another two years. She wasn’t sure she had the energy.

A knock sounded at the door, and she poked her head around the curtain to show acknowledgement. Gale popped his head in the room and grinned at her as he waggled his eyebrows.

“Pasta okay for dinner?”

“Sure. Sounds good.” With any luck, she’d put herself into a carb coma and pass out by 10:00.

That was exactly what she did. By the time she emerged from the shower, Gale had unloaded her car and stashed her belongings in her room. They’d agreed to have their own spaces, despite rekindling their relationship. Neither of them were ready for that kind of living together, although she was sure they’d end up in bed together more often than not. Still, that modicum of independence was important to her, and she appreciated Gale’s acceptance and understanding of that.

When she downed a bowl of penne pasta smothered in tomato sauce and cheese and then yawned like she hadn’t slept in years, he kissed her on the cheek and told her to go to bed. They could catch up the next day. Thankful for him and excited about the next step in her life, she went to sleep in her new home in a new city anticipating a new semester at a new school. Unfortunately, she’d have to share that with a very old rival. Peeta Mellark was the ghost she couldn’t shake.

****

“Have a good day, Catnip!” Gale called through the window as she climbed out of the car. He’d agreed to drive her to campus for the first week until she got her bearings and figured out how to navigate the University of Chicago. It was considerate and thoughtful and very Gale, at least the way he was since they’d been back together. She waved and wound her way through campus to the building where her class was scheduled.

“It’s been a while.”

Sighing, Katniss glanced around until she found the source of the voice. Peeta sat on a bench in front of the building, his hair falling across his forehead and a wide smile on his face. She hadn’t seen him since the last day of the class in which they’d shared their project, and it was already too soon for her taste.

“Not long enough as far I’m concerned,” she grumbled and almost felt bad when his face fell.

Heaving a sigh, he looked at her steadily. “Really? We’re doing this again? I thought we were past it. Not friends, exactly, but at least friendly?”

“Aren’t we always rivals? How are we supposed to be friendly?”

“I don’t know, Katniss. I just thought maybe we could move beyond all this. I’m tired of fighting with you for no reason.”

He did sound exhausted, but she couldn’t afford to trust him. She needed to stay on track, make sure she was focused and prepared to get her master’s. Education was her only guarantee for a better life. She couldn’t depend on anyone but herself.

“I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes,” she said loftily and swept past him into the building.

The problem was that he was everywhere in Chicago. He was in her classes, at the meeting where faculty greeted new students, in the lounge when she stopped by to relax between classes. She couldn’t get away from him, and even if she wanted to, he’d reverted back to his condescending treatment of her during their first few years at Panem University. She hated it, and she was almost positive she hated him as well.

Unfortunately, it didn’t matter how she felt. Their circumstances forced them together constantly. Their professors paired them together often, and everyone knew they’d known each other since they were young. The only time she got any peace was at home with Gale, which put pressure on their relationship, as well. She needed time to herself, and she didn’t get it. On top of that, Gale seemed distant as the weeks passed.

Frustrated, Katniss kept her head down. Determined to do well, she spent hours completing her coursework. She was in the library studying when Peeta happened upon her. Although she attempted to hide behind her book, he approached her warily, almost like he regretted bothering.

“I thought I’d check with you about the holidays,” he said. “Are you planning to go home over winter break?”

“I wasn’t aware I needed to clear my break plans with you. Were you hoping to avoid me or something?”

Peeta rolled his eyes and leaned his hip against the side of her worktable. He studied her for several seconds before finally answering. When he did, his voice dripped with sarcasm.

“What I wouldn’t give for the approval of the magnanimous Katniss Everdeen, but no. I was actually going to be nice and see if you wanted to either ride with me or split the gas if you’d prefer to drive, but never mind. I forgot you only want me around when it’s convenient for you.”

Chastised, she fiddled with her pen and mumbled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“You never do,” he sighed.

Glancing up, she took in his appearance. He looked tired. No, not just that, but bone-weary and dispirited. The semester had been rough on her. She should have thought about how hard Peeta worked and realized he would be just as exhausted as she was with only a few weeks left to go before the break.

“I haven’t actually thought about it,” she admitted. “Gale invited me to go home with him—”

“Oh, well, in that case, I won’t worry about you. Silly of me to think you’d want my help.”

She gaped at his back as he stalked away. He hadn’t even let her explain that she wasn’t likely to take her boyfriend up on his offer. She’d either stay in Chicago or head home. Allowing herself to fume for exactly 60 seconds, she processed it and then turned back to her work. Peeta Mellark wasn’t going to derail her. Besides, Gale’s distance was much more worrying than the irritation of her rival’s kindness.

****

“So, what’s going on with you?” Katniss finally asked after she’d turned in all her papers and projects for the semester. There were ten days left before Christmas, and Katniss still hadn’t decided if she was going to go home for the holidays or stay in Chicago by herself. Gale had already planned to spend two weeks at home with his family. He’d invited her to join them, but she either wanted her own family or to be alone. Also, she still wasn’t sure they were in this for the long haul so soon, and she had a thing about getting attached to people who would inevitably leave her.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she said pointedly, “that you’ve been acting weird. Are we okay? Did something happen I don’t know about?”

He paused the show he was watching and turned to face her. “No? I thought things were fine, but maybe there’s something going on _I_ don’t know about.”

“You’ve just been… I don’t know…distant lately. I thought maybe you were regretting asking me to move in with you or something.”

“That’s not it at all,” he insisted. “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I’ve just had a lot on my mind the past couple of months.”

“If only you had a wonderful, understanding girlfriend who’d listen to what’s bothering you,” she said, prodding gently at his thigh.

“I wanted to wait until I knew for sure, and now it’s so close to the holidays I thought I’d delay until after. I’m sorry. I should have realized you’d know something’s wrong.”

She released an exasperated laugh but smiled through the sting of disappointment. “Well, now I’m worried. Thanks for that.”

“I got an opportunity. A really, really big one, and I think I want to take it.”

Confused, she nodded and congratulated him. “That’s great, though. Why would you not want to tell me that?”

“Because it’s in London.”

A buzzing started in her head. Reeling, she tried to speak, but nothing came out of her mouth. This, whatever it was, wasn’t just big. It had the ability to change everything she thought she’d figured out about her life. Although she wasn’t ready for anything more serious yet, she’d assumed once they got back together that they’d stay that way in some capacity, at least. Another attempt at a long-distance relationship seemed like too much of a hurdle. Finally, after listening to him explain why the opportunity was such a good one and laying out exactly why he needed to accept the position, she regained her speech.

“When are you leaving?” she asked bluntly.

“I don’t have to g—”

“Gale, don’t shit in my hand and tell me it’s chocolate. You want to do this. It’ll be good for your career. You’re not going to give this up for me. I won’t let you,” she snapped. “Now, be honest. When are you leaving for London?”

He didn’t want to tell her. That much was obvious, and that scared her more than anything. Clearly, he was about to devastate her, and she wasn’t prepared. Not this close to Christmas. Not when she had no plans but to hole up by herself and mope for the next two weeks.

“I can leave as soon as January and as late as June,” he admitted, and she released a painful breath. “I can wait till June. That’s what’s more fair to you. It’ll give you time to find another place, let you finish the semester without the stress of moving or finding another roommate. They’ll hold my spot till then.”

She shook her head before he even finished. “No. Absolutely not. You’re not putting this off for me. This is the opportunity of a lifetime for you, and you should take it. I’m a big girl, and I can fix my own issues.”

“Catnip—”

“No!” she barked. He winced at her tone, but she was too worked up to care. “You should go. Tell your family when you’re home. I have time to figure things out over break. It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry,” he tried, but she wasn’t ready to hear it.

“Don’t. Don’t apologize to me for taking something you really want and deserve. It’ll be fine.”

“We should talk—”

“Not now.” She couldn’t yet, not when everything was so fresh. “I’m gonna take a walk. Need some fresh air.”

He tried to stop her, but she was outside before he could catch her. It was freezing as December in Chicago almost always was, and she’d hardly dressed for it. Her feet and fingers were frozen in minutes, but she was too upset to go home. It wasn’t that Gale didn’t deserve his chance. He should absolutely take this opportunity. It was more that she’d planned this phase of her life with him in it, and there was no way he could return the favor. This would be the end of them, and that left her feeling adrift. He’d been her friend for so long and then her boyfriend and now her roommate. She’d be fine on her own, but she was tired of starting over, finding her equilibrium and then losing her footing just when things started to go well for her.

It was a dick move, but Katniss’ hands moved of their own accord. She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Peeta’s number with shaking hands. He answered on the third ring.

“Katniss?”

His familiar voice flooded her senses, and she sobbed in relief. Even if she hated him, he was achingly familiar, and she needed something like home in the midst of the storm. She stuttered his name, and then she stopped. How could she ask him for help when she’d done nothing but ignore him since they’d moved here? And yet, here she was asking him to comfort her.

“Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I-I d-don’t know,” she admitted, her teeth chattering. “I went for a walk, and I think I’m lost.”

“Listen to me, Katniss,” he ordered calmly, but she could hear the tinge of worry in his timbre. “Are you with me?”

“Y-y-yes,” she stammered.

“Don’t hang up until I tell you to, okay?” When she agreed, he gave her a list of instructions and then repeated them for clarification. “When I tell you, I need you to hang up. Once you have, open your map app and find your location. Drop a pin, and text it to me. I’ll come pick you up. Do you hear me? I need you to send me your location, and I’ll come get you.”

“Okay,” she agreed, shaking so hard it hurt.

“I’m going to hang up now, but send me your location. Do it now. Do you understand?”

When she confirmed, he hung up, and she stumbled through the steps with clumsy fingers shaking from the cold. He responded to the text with a time frame, and he arrived two minutes earlier than that. He pulled to a stop beside her and opened the passenger door from the inside.

“Get in,” he demanded, his face twisted into a scowl. When she did, he turned the heater on full blast and stared out the window. His jaw was hard set, and she couldn’t do anything but attempt to thaw.

“Thank you,” she finally said meekly. She was mildly surprised to realize tear tracks had frozen on her cheeks while she walked, and she scrubbed them away with the heels of her palms.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he barked. “It’s freezing, and you don’t even have on a real coat. Or gloves. And those boots are sorry excuses for anything warm.”

“Can I have a ride home?”

Surprised, he rolled his eyes. “Of course you can. That’s why I came to get you, you idiot.”

“No. I mean a ride home. I want to see my mom and sister for Christmas.”

“Oh…” His voice trailed into silence, and he turned to look at her more carefully. “Of course, sweetheart. I’ll take you home.”

She wasn’t his sweetheart, but she didn’t correct him. He hadn’t meant anything by it other than comfort, and she found she was oddly in need of that tonight. Ashamed, she slumped into her seat and allowed the tears to flow freely.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head, her lips pursed together so she wouldn’t break down even more. “I can’t yet. On the way there, okay? When are we leaving?”

“Day after tomorrow okay? I was planning to get a few things done around my apartment first, but I can move it up if you need me to.”

“That’s fine,” she agreed. “Is there…”

“Is there what?”

She hung her head, reluctant to ask him for anything more, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She couldn’t go back to her apartment. Not with Gale there. His flight was early the next morning. She could stay away until she was sure he was gone.

“Is there any way I could crash on your couch tonight? Just for one night. I just can’t— Not now.”

Peeta nodded, agreeing despite not looking happy about it at all, and Katniss heaved a sigh of relief. She was starting to thaw, and she wanted nothing more than to be somewhere safe and warm with good food. On a whim, she offered, “Can I buy you dinner to make up for it? There’s a place that has the best comfort food ever, and I could use some tonight. It’s not far from campus. The Meadow. You know it?”

“I’ve seen signs,” he confirmed. “Sure. Dinner would be nice. You sure you’re up for it?”

She nodded. “Absolutely, and as soon as I’m full, I’ll be ready to pass out. You won’t even know I’m there. I’ll be the best house guest in the world.”

Peeta grinned ruefully and put the car into gear. “Somehow, I doubt it, but I’ll let you keep telling yourself that. Let’s get some dinner.”

****

Katniss walked into her empty apartment and almost wept with relief. Gale had tried to call her until the minute his plane was scheduled to depart, but she’d declined every call. She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet, even though she knew it was unfair. Sinking onto the couch, she took out her phone and started typing. It would be easier to do it like this instead of waiting until after the holiday. That way, he could make plans to leave for London in January, and she could start over in the New Year the way she needed.

It took a few tries, but she was finally satisfied with the message. She held her breath and hit send. She’d done it. She’d wished him well and bid him goodbye and told him she’d have her stuff out of the apartment before she left to head home for Christmas. She was single again, and she had to admit it didn’t feel all that terrible. Shrugging, she headed to her bedroom to sort laundry. She might as well pack clean clothes, and she could start on her books and other belongings while they washed and dried.

The next day, she’d packed her car and stashed her suitcase in the front seat with the Christmas presents she’d planned to mail home to her family. She took one last look around and then locked the door behind her. Removing the key from the keyring, she stopped at the mailbox and checked it one last time. She’d already arranged for the post office to hold her mail until she returned in January, so there wasn’t anything else to do. She closed the mailbox and dropped the keys inside.

That was that. She was free to move on, and she let the weight lift off her. Squaring her shoulders, she headed to her car and drove the short distance to Peeta’s place. She pulled into the extra parking space for his apartment in the garage and let him know she’d arrived.

“I didn’t expect you to be so early,” he called as he emerged from the building and into the parking garage. “I’m not quite finished. You want to come inside?”

Shrugging, she agreed but suggested moving her stuff into his car first. When he saw how full her backseat was, he raised his eyebrows.

“It’s not all going with me. I moved out. This is everything I own.”

“I see.” His expression was closed, no indication of anything other than accepting of her explanation. “Well, why don’t we take some of it inside. I’d hate for anyone to see it and decide to break your window. It won’t be in the way since I’ll be gone.”

She stashed what she was taking with her in his trunk and then helped him lug in a few boxes and suitcases. He stacked it carefully in the entryway and motioned her to the couch.

“I just need to get the cheese buns out of the oven, and then I’m ready.”

“The what?”

He headed into the kitchen and grabbed an oven mitt. He had the door open and a pan on the counter before he had time to explain.

“Cheese buns. They’re a family favorite. Surely you remember from growing up. I used to bring them to you all the time.”

She remembered then, his eager face when he handed her baked goods in their youth. How could she have forgotten? How had she shoved him away so far that she’d forgotten how much she loved her favorite taste of childhood?

“You made cheese buns?” she asked, both awed and delighted.

He nodded, a grin splitting his face. “I thought maybe we could use some nostalgia.”

They were tucked into the car in another few minutes, the steaming buns between them in the console. The miles passed quickly, going from Illinois into Indiana in a very short time. They argued whether they should take the northern track through Ohio and Kentucky or risk the hillier way through Kentucky and into West Virginia. They eventually decided on the more scenic route, and Peeta turned south at the next interstate junction.

She’d forgotten how funny he could be when they weren’t snarking at each other, and she wondered again why she’d shoved him away so hard when he’d mostly been nothing but nice to her. It had to be self-preservation, but she wasn’t sure what she was trying so hard to preserve after all these years.

Finally, she opened up about Gale. She found herself explaining her predicament without any self-pity. It was amazing how quickly she’d accepted that her ex-boyfriend would be out of her life completely within a few weeks. She felt a tiny twinge of regret for not saying goodbye in person, but there would be time to repair that rift eventually. She had to be her top priority for a little while.

“So, the point is I need a place to live next semester,” she finished and laughed. Pulling another cheese bun free, she ate it. It wasn’t hot anymore, but it was still amazing, all carbs and grease. She licked her fingers and sighed happily.

“I have an extra room.”

She snapped her head sideways to look at him. “What did you say?”

“I have an extra room,” he repeated. “Why don’t you move in with me? It’d save me money on rent and solve your problem. And then we also wouldn’t have to drag your stuff back out to your car. It’s already inside my place.”

“I couldn’t—”

“You can.”

“But we hate each other.”

Peeta laughed. “Do we? I’ve never hated you. You irritate the shit out of me, and I think you’re a stubborn mule, but that doesn’t mean I hate you.”

“But I hate you!” she protested, even though it wasn’t really true.

He shrugged and signaled to change lanes. Glancing over his shoulder, he teased, “More chances for you to sabotage me if you live inside the walls.”

Stunned, she stared at him incredulously. She absolutely could not move in with Peeta Mellark. Except there was no reason she couldn’t. He had a room, and she needed a place to live. He wasn’t an ax murderer, at least not unless that had happened in the past few minutes. If nothing else, she’d have more ammunition to torture him with if she knew his everyday routine better. Maybe she’d regret it, but at that moment, it seemed like the perfect solution.

“I’ll start paying rent on January 1.”

Surprised, he glanced over at her. “Really?”

“Really, roomie. Get ready for salt in your sugar, and hair dye in your shampoo. You don’t know what you’ve agreed to, Mellark.”

“Oh, I think I do, Everdeen. I really, really think I do.”


	5. Home

Katniss almost hated to admit it, but Peeta Mellark had been a good roommate. He’d been clean and tidy; he could cook up a storm; and he always left the toilet seat down. He’d been both an answer to her prayers and the bane of her existence since he picked her up back in December and let her crash on his couch so she could avoid talking to Gale. If she didn’t hate him so much, she might really like him, dammit.

Her present conundrum revolved around trying to figure out how to live with a man she found incredibly attractive. Peeta had always been good-looking, but his constant courtesy and consideration wore on her. None of his actions were bad, which was precisely the problem. While his good looks made her want to cozy up to him a little bit, his sweet personality and self-deprecating sense of humor tempted her to jump him about every other day.

That was until she figured out that all her pent-up frustration and ire toward him was totally deserved. Then she knew she’d been on the right track all along.

She found out purely by accident. She was in her office when her academic advisor called the communal grad office phone and asked her to come upstairs for a meeting. Katniss rolled her eyes for the millionth time that the older woman, Dr. Paylor, hadn’t figured out how to message her cell phone, but the landline got the job done. Katniss took the elevator up four floors and knocked on her advisor’s door.

“Come in, Katniss,” she motioned and removed a stack of papers from a chair to clear a space. “I wanted to talk to you for a bit about your fellowship.”

She sat, suddenly nervous. Was there a problem with it? She simply couldn’t afford to register for classes the next semester if she lost that financial aid. She needed to keep it.

“It’s been a godsend,” she said, anxious to let her advisor know how important it was to her and her educational career. “I don’t know what I’d do without it.”

“Well, that’s fine,” Dr. Paylor answered with a wide smile, “because we have the funds to renew it for another year. I wasn’t sure for a little while because of the endowment. Of course, I’d fight for yours to be issued first, but that’s not a battle we have to wage anymore. I called in everyone who’s a Cornucopia Fellow, and the numbers have sorted out. There are a few who have decided to discontinue their work at this institution, and another who insisted others who have greater financial need be awarded first. He made a point of mentioning you, which I found interesting. I didn’t realize you and Peeta Mellark have known each other for far longer than your year here.”

She didn’t know what to say. She was thrilled she could continue her degree, but the fact that Peeta had stepped in again, saving her when she didn’t need saving, infuriated her. They were rivals, not friends, always competing for the same opportunities, but he kept refusing to fight fair. And to mention her by name to her academic advisor. To bring up her family’s poverty instead of her work ethic or grades or successes as a scholar. It was all too much. How dare he?

“I’ve known Peeta since Kindergarten. We haven’t always gotten along, but he’s a great competitor,” she lied. She wasn’t going to lose face in this office. She’d wait until she was home to destroy him.

Paylor nodded. “Sometimes it helps to have someone to push you a little harder. Not you, I mean. People in general.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“Well, I’m very pleased to have secured funding for you next year because I have a big project in the works, and I could use your help. You’re good with details, and I need someone who can keep a tremendous amount of information organized. If you’re interested, I think I can get some backing for an additional stipend, as well.”

Katniss stammered her answer but accepted readily. She could use both the experience and the extra income, not to mention a closer working relationship with a respected scholar in her field.

“We could use another person, too. If you and Peeta work well together, I could offer it to him.”

“I—” Katniss choked on her words. Unable to get anything out, she stared at her hands for several moments before her advisor spoke.

“Maybe you’d like to think about it for a while? Let me know after spring break. I have some others in mind, too. More than anything, we need a good rapport among the team.”

“Sure. Thanks, Dr. Paylor. I really appreciate the opportunity.”

Katniss stopped by her desk to pick up her stuff and headed home. She needed time to think, and she couldn’t do it surrounded by her fellow grad students. Ideally, she should go somewhere Peeta wouldn’t make an appearance, but he had a class that afternoon. Surely, she had a few hours by herself at their apartment. She wasn’t positive when she’d started thinking about it as theirs instead of his, but she had. Sometime over the past three months, she’d grown to enjoy being around Peeta as much as the man himself.

Her heart sank when she pulled into her parking spot. His car was there, which meant he was, too. His class must have been canceled since it was late in the week two days before the campus left for spring break. Well, she was mad enough that she might as well get this over with. She stomped into the apartment and yelled his name. Irritated, she clomped down the hall and—

“Oh, good god,” she breathed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his eyes wide with concern. “Are you okay?”

Was she okay? Hell, no, she wasn’t okay. She wasn’t okay at all because Peeta was half-naked. And wet. And standing in their hallway with only a towel draped loosely around his cut hips. And she. Wanted. All. Of. That.

“I… Uh… I—”

She swallowed as a droplet of water slid down his left pectoral and made its way along cut abdominal muscles to be absorbed in the towel still clutched at his waist. She could see a powerful thigh through the slit in the fabric, and it made her head swirl just a little bit.

“Katniss?”

She couldn’t stand him. With his curls plastered to his head and his broad shoulders and wet body and masculinity that rolled off him and completely counteracted his baking skills and compassion and thoughtfulness. She hated all of it. Every single speck of him being exactly what she’d always wanted in the form of her archrival. Damn him and everything about him. Suddenly livid, she advanced toward him with blazing eyes. When she was a step from him, she stopped and poked him in the middle of his very wet, very cut, very sexy chest.

“You. Need. To. Stop. Trying. To. Save. Me.” She sucked in a breath and then added, “You asshole.”

Bewildered, he looked down at her finger, which was still touching his heated skin, and shook his head. “What are you upset about now?” he asked. He sounded so weary, completely exhausted from the same continuous argument.

“I don’t need you to step in for me. I can do this on my own,” she spat at him.

“You can do _what_ on your own? I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, don’t give me that crap. You know exactly what you did.”

“I really don’t!” he shouted back. “God, you drive me absolutely insane! I was just taking a goddamn shower, and you come home and start yelling at me. I’m so fucking tired of being your whipping boy.”

“Oh, shut up,” she snapped. “You’d like it if I whipped you.”

He froze, his eyes wide. She stared at him, fuming but hot and bothered by his damn muscled chest. And then he crushed her to him. His mouth covered hers, and her hands grasped his bare back, and his tangled in her hair, and his towel slipped. His tongue probed, his mouth devoured, and she wanted more, more, more. He growled low in his throat and then broke away. They stared at each other, panting, for several minutes.

He pulled back, his hands up in surrender, and she watched it happen with equal parts disbelief and fascination. His towel fell, and he stood naked. The cut of his hips led down to a carefully groomed thatch of hair, and he… Holy hell. He looked absolutely scrumptious, thick and chubbed up, and she wanted it in her mouth four days ago. Even his balls seemed lick-able.

Peeta choked out a horrified squeak, grabbed the towel off the ground, and clutched it in front of him with both hands. That did absolutely nothing to hide the curve of his ass or the way his thigh muscles contracted and twitched under her gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped, and she tore her gaze away from his body to study his face. He was flushed bright red, horribly embarrassed, and he was backing away from her down the hall. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

When he reached his bedroom, he backed into it and slammed the door. She stood in the hallway and couldn’t even remember why she was pissed at him. Instead, all she could do was ponder how his clothes hid a spectacularly glorious body. That, and that he’d kissed her more thoroughly than she’d ever been kissed in her life. Stunned, she realized she wanted more. Much, much, much more.

****

He was gone when she woke up the next morning. She’d given him space the night before because he seemed so miserably horrified at the towel mishap. She had enough grace to allow him time to lick his wounds. She hadn’t expected him to escape for spring break before they had a chance to talk. He hadn’t even had the courage to text her. Instead, he’d left a note on the refrigerator, stuck up with a magnet from his family’s bakery. She hadn’t even known they had those as marketing materials until she noticed it held up his scrawled message.

The note was generic enough. He wished her a good spring break and issued another apology for flashing her, but she swallowed a sinking sensation. He had plans to travel to South Beach in Miami with his older brothers, and she didn’t trust either Graham or Rye to behave with any sort of respectability. Peeta’d been single since they’d left Panem State, and he and Cashmere or Glimmer or whatever woman he’d been dating had split. It had been amicable, Peeta’d told her. They still cared about each other a lot, but random girlfriend from senior year was headed to Phoenix with a new job. Neither of them had wanted to try a long-distance relationship. Katniss didn’t really care. Peeta’d dated a lot of women at Panem State. She didn’t have any interest in keeping them all straight. She also didn’t want to admit she’d been insanely jealous of all of them, including the ones he seemed to have really adored.

Katniss didn’t begrudge him some relaxation during such an intense time of his degree, but there would be plenty of women in Florida to wipe the kiss they’d shared the night before right out of his mind. In short, Katniss needed to figure out what she was doing because the love/hate thing she had going with her rival had pushed him to the edge, and she didn’t know if she had the strength to lose him and keep going. He’d become more, not less, important to her over the past several years, and they’d been stronger together than apart. Was it only her pride keeping them from being together? Did Peeta even want that? Could she handle it if she was too late?

Katniss heaved a sigh and decided she needed a change of pace. Instead of staying in Chicago and living with the spirit of Peeta everywhere, she’d go home for spring break and deal with the ghosts of her past. Maybe if she took stock of where she was from, she could figure out what it was that kept her from breaking down the space Peeta and she had always carefully maintained.

She packed quickly and was on the road by mid-morning. She had some work to do over break, but she was due for some time off to recharge and reenergize. Besides, her studies were going smoothly enough. It was her personal life that was in desperate need of some attention and effort. Surely, she could spend a few days focusing on that.

Although she didn’t expect it, Katniss found comfort in the drive. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d allowed herself to let her mind drift to the past, to appreciate her childhood, and revel in the simplicity she’d enjoyed there. Nothing had been easy for the Everdeens after her father died. Her mother had done her best, Katniss realized now, but her depression and inability to care for her daughters had been an unfair burden on Katniss. She loved her sister, but Prim should never have been her responsibility. She was just now realizing how much stress she’d felt about making sure Prim was okay.

Peeta’s kindness during her early years had always grated on her, but he’d done nothing but care for her throughout their high school career. He’d continued that behavior until they’d arrived at college and she’d told him to leave her alone. He’d minded and allowed her to grow and experience school and then forgiven her when she’d asked him to be her partner on their senior project, and then he’d stepped back again in Chicago when she couldn’t handle his friendship. Then, he’d offered her a way out when Gale left her hanging.

In short, Peeta had been the epitome of a friend. He’d given without any expectation of receiving, gone the extra mile, and forgiven liberally. All of that, and all he’d gotten was a bad prom date, hateful behavior, and a roommate he probably didn’t even want. She didn’t deserve the kindness he’d shown her, but he continued to offer it without asking for much in return.

The roads turned familiar after a few hours, and she marveled at the budding trees and the cold wetness of an early spring day in West Virginia. The hills and hollows welcomed her, and the little brook that ran in the valley bubbled beside her as she wound along the twisting highway. When she entered her hometown, memories rushed back. The sheer volume was overwhelming, and she blinked moisture from her eyes.

She hadn’t forgotten what home was because she’d been living with it for the past three months. Peeta made her feel anchored and challenged just like she had here, but he also scared the hell out of her. He wasn’t a safety net. He had the power to change her entire life if she let him, and that was enough to terrify her.

She pulled into the driveway at her childhood home and grinned as Prim bounded from the house and almost tackled her. Three years younger, she’d left and gone away to school, too. She was two years deep into her pre-med degree at Pittsburgh University on a full scholarship. Katniss couldn’t have been prouder, but she missed her little sister. It was fortuitous they had the same spring break and they’d both chosen to visit home.

They talked a mile a minute for hours, sharing stories and swapping gossip about mutual acquaintances. It wasn’t long before the topic turned to Peeta, and Katniss found she could hardly speak.

“What’s going on?” Prim asked, concern shining in her eyes. “Everything’s okay between you, right? He’s always been so gone for you.”

“He hasn’t,” she insisted. “He’s just always been too nice for his own good.”

“Katniss,” her sister said softly, “Peeta’s been in love with you since I was old enough to understand what that means.”

“That’s not possible.”

She burst into tears, which was so uncharacteristic of her that Prim laughed. Her sister sat with her, patting her back and waiting for Katniss to calm. Embarrassed, she sniffed a few times and finally acknowledged what she’d been too petrified to admit.

“I think I love him, too.”

“Of course you do. Everyone’s known that for years. I couldn’t ever understand why you stayed with Gale when Peeta was an option. You two are perfect for each other. You both have flaws, but you complement each other in such a way that you make the other better. It’s a beautiful thing.”

Katniss admitted, “He kissed me yesterday. I was mad at him, and I was yelling. He got so mad, and he pulled me to him and kissed him.”

“And?” Prim prodded.

“And then his towel fell off.”

“His towel?”

“He’d just gotten out of the shower. Still wet and everything.”

Prim screeched, “You saw him naked? Holy hell, big sister. Peeta Mellark’s gorgeous.”

“He really is.”

“And you love him.”

“I think I do.”

Pressing, Prim leaned in and asked, “So, what are you going to do about it?”

Katniss pressed her lips together, petrified but determined, she answered, “I’m going to tell him. When I get back. It’s time the rivals made amends.”

****

Katniss was ready when she returned to Chicago. After a week of being with her sister in her hometown, discussing it ad nauseum, and imagining every scenario that involved her life without him in it, she knew they couldn’t go on the way they had been. Peeta’s patience had to be running thin, and she needed to step past her fear and embrace what had developed over almost two decades—a love that was as deep as that her father and mother had shared before he was killed. It had taken a frank conversation with her mother to come to grips with loving someone enough that it might incapacitate her if something happened to him. Peeta was worth the risk.

He beat her to their apartment. She walked in on him sorting his laundry and starting the washer. It was such a familiar domestic scene that it made her throat hurt. He smiled warily and greeted her, asking politely about her break and what she’d done.

“We need to talk,” she blurted, and he hunched his shoulders, inadvertently protecting himself from an expected onslaught. Despondent, he sank onto the couch and waited for her to speak.

“Okay,” he said, his voice thick with anxiety. “I’m ready. Let me have it.”

He seemed so defeated it broke her heart. How had she allowed things to get to this point that he was convinced her first inclination was to berate him? She’d been so unfair, but he was equally terrible at communicating. If her little sister was right and Peeta did care about her, why hadn’t he said anything for so long? He’d dated someone seriously at least through half their undergraduate career and had a string of other interested women. This wasn’t solely on her.

She sat next to him and reached over to take his hand. Almost shaking with nervousness, she confessed, “I think I’m in love with you.”

He didn’t move or speak for several moments. She dared to raise her face to look at him, but he was frozen, only his eyelids blinking every so often. For a few seconds, she wasn’t even sure he was breathing. Eventually, he huffed in disbelief, the sound rolling in his throat until it faded to silent. She squeezed his hand tighter, but he still didn’t respond. She couldn’t tell if he was attempting to torture her with his silence, or if he was just that incredulous that he was unable to speak.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you,” she admitted. “I was terrible to you so many times, and I’m sorry for that. I didn’t really know that this weirdness between us—this push and pull that’s always made me so simultaneously drawn to you and desperate to get away—has been something that’s really wonderful and powerful and amazing. I’m afraid, and that’s all I can say to excuse what I’ve done, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s okay.”

He blinked a few more times and then inhaled sharply. He tried to speak several times before he was finally able to form words.

“You love me?”

“I’m pretty sure, yes.”

“But you were furious with me. And then the towel. And I kissed you without your permission. And… I don’t understand.”

“Dr. Paylor told me about you promoting me over yourself, and it hit me wrong. You’ve done that a hundred times, and it’s infuriating to wonder whether or not you think I can do it without you sacrificing yourself for me,” she explained. “I want to know I can do something because I’m talented and capable and not because you stepped aside.”

“I just wanted to help you,” he protested.

Nodding in reply, she locked her gaze with his. “I understand that, but I’m not a damsel in distress. If I was, we wouldn’t have been rivals for so long.”

“I’ve really enjoyed competing with you through the years.”

His grin was infectious, absolutely disarming, and she was reminded of how adorable he’d always been when he turned on his charm.

“I have, too, but Peeta…” She swallowed hard and laid herself bare, “I’m ready to be with you, not fight against you.”

He leaned in then, his head tilting so he could capture her mouth with his. This time it was gentler, more loving than his oral assault before spring break. He coaxed her mouth open and cupped her face in his palms. He kissed her sweetly, caressing her lips with his and licking into them so tenderly tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. His forehead pressed against hers, and he breathed into her skin. “I’ve wanted you for so long. This doesn’t feel real.”

“It’s real, Peeta. I promise. It’s real.”

He kissed her again, harder and with more passion. She slotted her mouth against his and moaned at his intensity. He tugged her toward him, and she straddled his lap, grinding down into him until he groaned in time with the roll of her hips. His response lit a fire in her, and she clutched at his shirt, grasping and pulling with every intention of disrobing him. Frantic with need, he yanked his shirt over his head and caught her mouth again.

“Peeta,” she panted. “Peeta, tell me you remember our prom night.”

“I remember every second of it. I’ve thought about it for years. The way you pulled me into the backseat. Your eagerness. The way you felt against me. I’ve wanted to finish that night for years.”

“Then let’s do that. Tonight.”

Peeta released a sound that shot straight to her core. He stood and wrapped his arms around her. Carrying her down the hall to his bedroom, he laid her on the bed and stretched out next to her. He ran his hands over her arms and shoulders and then asked, “Are you sure this isn’t too fast?”

“I’ve waited for this since our senior year in high school. Five years is long enough. Don’t you think?”

He stripped her then, peeling her clothing from her piece by piece, covering every inch of her skin with his mouth and hands. He laved at her until she trembled beneath him, licking at her nipples, tracing the curve of her neck and waist. He nudged her legs open and stroked her, long fingers dipping inside and drawing out moisture that he used to turn her into a quivering mass of want. He was everywhere, and she wanted him so badly she was ready to beg.

“Please,” she implored.

He shrugged free of his jeans and boxers. Tossing them on the floor, he rolled onto his back and drew her on top of him. Her back rested against his chest, and he cradled her against him with his arms around her from behind and her head cuddled into his neck. She could feel him hard against the small of her back, and she groaned his name as he hooked her right leg over his left hip and rubbed her to completion.

She came with a choked shout. She writhed against him, embarrassed that he’d pushed over the edge with just his fingers, but he whispered into her ear so many precious things she felt hollowed out and craved more. He breathed against her skin, heating her with his body and forcing her to take what he wanted to give instead of focusing on him. It was sexy and tender and incredibly erotic, and she whined as he teased her slit more.

“I can’t, Peeta. I can’t—”

“Shhh,” he hushed her. “Yes, you can. I’ve got you. I promise I’m here.”

Then she heard him rustling in his drawer, and she sighed in relief at the sound of foil ripping. He curled onto his side, shifting her slightly, and then he eased into her from behind. Her eyes dropped closed and her head fell back as he stretched her. This wasn’t a position she’d tried before, and it made her feel both exposed and strong. It was an exquisite combination of power and vulnerability.

He moved then, pulling back and then thrusting forward hard. She moaned his name and urged him to do it again. He started slowly, setting a measured, steady rhythm that made her weep. She was helpless against him, desperate for more until his pace increased. When it did, she squirmed when he hit something inside her that made her crow with pleasure.

“Katniss,” he gasped, his breath uneven. He crossed her arms over her chest and held them there with his left arm, and then he began to thrust faster. He hitched her right leg up to hook over his elbow and angled his hips to hit deeper inside her. The bed squeaked, and the headboard slapped against the wall in a steady cadence. She bit her lip to keep from screaming, but finally, she let go. He slammed into her then, punishing as he rammed into her, frantic with need. She broke again, her back arching and her hips grinding downward. They twisted together, bucking against the other until he shouted and ground to a halt. Time stopped for a beat, and then he called her name as he came.

She flew then. Floating on air as he emptied himself into her, she felt like she’d finally found a way to share with him the way she felt. Words were inadequate for what they had together. They were bonded over decades, connected in a way that demonstrated their commitment to each other in a new way. This wasn’t a competition anymore. No more rivals. Instead, they were a united front, two lovers with common goals and a shared history.

“Sweetheart,” he breathed into her ear. “I love you.”

There were so many things to say to each other, so much to share and plan and discuss, but at that moment, she wanted nothing more than to curl into his arms and enjoy some peace. After they cleaned up, she turned to him and asked with a sated smile, “Stay with me?”

He took her in his arms and kissed her sweetly. “Through every phase of life. Always.”

She sighed happily and murmured against him, “Always rivals. Always you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging with me, y'all! This story has been a long time in the making, and I'm thrilled to share the resolution with you. Happy holidays!


End file.
